Wednesday, August 4, 2010

soap box explanation

For all you millions of readers out there in blogoworld, in case you didn't know, I am a big old fag-dyke-lezzie-homo. I am huge and unapologetic and crass and also not a very good textbook lesbian.

Confusing?

why yes, I agree.

I believe that I am a lesbian, I identify as a lesbian, if a polite young person came up to me on the street and asked what I was, I would scream:

IMA BIG FLAMING MUFF DIVER!!

However, this doesn't change the fact that I'm currently boning (and loving) a guy named G. It also doesn't mean I consider myself bisexual. My understanding of bisexuality is that is a duality of love for both sexes. A bisexual person can equally and fairly fall in love and be completely satisfied with either a man or a woman (or for the lucky people, both at the same time). I cannot.

In my short, moderately experienced life, I have only ever truly felt love for two different guys. Conversely, I seem to have truly felt love for every girl I know. Even the ones I haven't slept with (they count too, it would seem)

There is a certain level of intoxication, emotion, electricity and infatuation I feel toward all women that I have never really felt toward men. The way I feel is perfectly described by the great poet of our time, Lil' Wayne:

"I wish I could fuck every girl in the world. Yea, alright"

I do. I really do.

guys however? I'd really wouldn't want to fuck a new guy for the rest of my life.


COMING SOON: "TALES OF PAST PUSSY or BDP SYNDROME or HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE BOMB"